Finding JOY in the JOURNEY...: Smile...

August 9, 2010

Smile...

Smile though your heart is aching

Smile even though it's breaking

When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by

If you smile through your pain and sorrow

Smile and maybe tomorrow

You'll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness

Hide every trace of sadness

Although a tear may be ever so near

That's the time you must keep on trying

Smile, what's the use of crying?

You'll find that life is still worthwhile

If you just smile...

I have this song on my playlist and it has been my theme song for the past 7 weeks. I have to admit that it's not getting much easier. I thought it would but I don't think "easier" is the right word. I am keeping busy and I am coping okay but no matter how busy I get or how many things I do in a day, there is always that moment when I have down time and my thoughts always go to him...wondering what he is doing, if he is eating or sleeping well, if he is sad or if he is lonely and if he is really going to get through this and come out the same man that left. There is not a day that goes by that I don't shed at least a few tears for him or myself. My heart and thoughts are always with him...and I can't imagine living one more second without hearing his voice, seeinghis beautiful face or holding him in my arms. Then just as I am about to have a complete and total meltdown...Heavenly Father intervenes in one way or another. A cool breeze, the sun coming out from behind a cloud, a gentle shower of rain, a hug from my Princess Savannah, a nudge from the cold wet nose of a Doberman that missed her Daddy as much as I do or the calm sense of peace I get when I ask God if we are going to survive the next 16 1/2 months. The temple has been my greatest source of strength and I am counting the days until it re-opens here in Laie. I go to Kona every other week and if I could afford it I would go more often. Part of me doesn't want it to get easier...I don't want to NOT miss him or learn to live without him. So sometimes the pain is a good thing...it reminds me of how much I love and depend on him and will make me never EVER take for granted his presence in my life. He is so strong...always worried about me and not himself. He is having a hard week...I think reality is setting in. But he never waivers in his faith...always believing that the LORD will see him through this. I know He will and I know that Lee will come home and we will be sealed for time and all eternity. That is the light at the end of my tunnel...I'm not sure why I am writing this but I had to put all these thoughts somewhere so I can dry my eyes and go to bed. If you are reading this and you have a moment...please say a prayer for Lee. He needs some extra strength and I know that only thing keeping us both afloat are the prayers offered by our family and friends. Also, hold your spouse a little closer, get an extra kiss, cuddle up in bed and watch a good movie, make them their favorite meal, rub their feet or just look deep into their eyes and say I love you. These are the things I would do right now if Lee were here...and will do everyday for the rest of our lives when he comes home!!!

6 comments:

Linsey said...: I can't imagine your pain, but your strength is unbelievable. I am praying for you, both of you. Sending lots of love your way and hoping for the days to go quickly. Keep your chin up and keep finding reasons to smile...I know it will help, even if only a little.; 3:50 AM
The Songer said...: I love this song,especially the glee cover of it, and can really feel your strength in this post. You've been in my thoughts a lot lately, and my prayers and am so grateful for your courage... Please don't hesitate to ask for anything!; 4:07 AM
Janet said...: I cried as I read your post. I can't really imagine how hard this must be for both of you. We will definately remember you in our prayers and I think you are coping much better than I would.We all love you!!!!; 7:50 AM
Rachey-Foo said...: Mibi, I said a prayer for Lee. I know I don't know him but I feel like I do because of your blog and FB. Our Father in Heaven has a plan for each of us and although this may be a very difficult time for you both, rejoice in the love you share and the testimony builder it has been for you both. You two are such an example to me. I love you and will continue to pray for you. xoxoxoxo; 9:34 AM
The Price Family said...: You are in my prayers, Mibi. I know that you are an amazing woman of great strength and thought this is not easy, it is bareable through the Savior's strength. I love you; 7:01 AM
Mibi and Lee said...: Thank you all so much!!!!!!!!! Im doing much better and will be posting something more positive SOON:P I love you all for your prayers and support and so does Lee :); 7:42 PM

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Once upon a time...

Mibi grew up in Laie and attended Kahuku High and Lee grew up in Haleiwa and Mililani and attended Mililani High. Mibi went to College at BYU-Hawaii and then served a mission in the Utah Ogden Mission before meeting the man of her dreams. After school, Lee jumped into the workforce looking for his career and eventually ended up working for Mibi's family flower shop at Turtle Bay while Mibi was serving her mission...and never thought that this job would lead him to his "Angel". We met in Septmeber of 2001 after I returned home from my mission. I came back to the flower shop to manage things for my Mom and Lee had left to pursue his education. Well a few months later, Lee's education path didn't take the direction he had hoped and instead life lead him back to Turtle Bay. The first thing he did was call Mom to get his job back and of course she said YES. So, I was Lee's boss and there was an instant friendship...it felt as if we had known each other our entire lives. We kept it strictly business for a few weeks and then one night I was gong to make a Wal-Mart run after work and called him to see if he wanted to come along. His phone was busy (the days before call waiting) and I almost gave up...but after a few more tries he picked up and from that night on we were inseperable. I think we told each other our life stories that night and we both knew then that our lives would never be the same! Over the next year, we formed a deep love and respect for each other which kept us connected through a few rough patches and across the ocean as Mibi moved back to Utah. Finally after a year of being best friends, we both realized that there is no one on earth we would rather be with than each other! We were a couple for about two years when Lee proposed to me and we tied the knot at the exact place we first met...the same hotel the flower shop was located when we worked there...TURTLE BAY. And to add to our JOY, we have a beautiful daughter Savannah (Lee's biological and Mibi's spiritual daughter ) who we just ADORE! She is so smart, funny, outgoing, a jabberbox like her Dad and just the cutest thing you have ever seen!!! We also are praying that we can give her a little brother or sister sometime in the next year or two!!! Until then we have a Doberman (Kayla) and a cat (Shadow) that we spoil rotten and of course all of our Nieces and Nephew's. It has been almost 8 years of wedded bliss and although we have had our ups and downs, each experience has made us grow more in love with each other and are still each others best friend!