Finding JOY in the JOURNEY...: Beware...pity party in full swing!!!!!

September 22, 2011

Beware...pity party in full swing!!!!!

It must be a combo of too much work, not enough sleep, missing my husband and having a sinus infection...but the last week has ben rough for me. I just feel lik BLAH!!!!!! I am finally taking time to go to the doctors tomorrow because I have had this weird "car sick" feeling for weeks now. So not only am I working 7 days a week, 9-10 hours a day, but half of the time I feel like I'm on a rollar coaster ride (not a fun exciting ride...a make you sick and wanna hurl kind of ride). So of course, because I dont feel well, I EAT!!!! I have been eating out of control...just stuffing myself with food that isn't good for me and not really good PERIOD. Like, if I am going to go off my diet, I shoudl atleast be eating things that are AWESOME...not random things in the employee cafeteria:( I have Savannah's Mom harrassing me and although she is pretty easy to ignore (thank you to T-Mobile for allowing me to block people from calling or texting me nad me from calling or texting them), it's still annoying and hurtful. My house was not finished in time, so I am sharing my old house with 5 college girls and a very big, spoiled dog. And they are all sweet girls, but sharing a bathroom with two other girls and having people I dont know come in and out of my house is something I am not used to. I'm a little overwhelmed with all of these things...but mostly I just miss my husband. You would think that it would get easier seeing as he will be home in 2 months, 2 weeks and 4 days...but it seems like FOREVER right now. I just want him near me...to hold me...cook me food...take Kayla to the park for me...fix the mustang...you know be my HUSBAND! Like, the over eating...missing Lee is my way of "comforting" myself. In the past, when I was down or stressed, I'd EAT or Lee would be there to cheer me up...they were my coping mechanisms. And for the last 15 months they have both been taken away. I don't know why NOW all of a sudden I need them...I had just as much stress before, but for whatever reason I AM SO DONE. Done being married but alone...being thinner but still overweight...having the responsibility of raising achild but having no acces or rights to her...its like im just STUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im probably PMS-ing and in a few days will laugh at how over dramatic I was in this post but for now...this is how I feel and I needed to get it out. Im going to go home, take my dog to the park, take a hot shower, climb into bed and hopefully wake up in my finished upstairs house, 50 pounds lighter with my Husband lying next to me and Savannah asleep in her room. Is that too much to ask???? I mean REALLY...Heavenly Father created the heavens and the earth in 7 days...Im sure HE could do this one little thing;) Sigh.....I digress.....Lets hope I wake up tomorrow with a better attitude, go to the Doctor and finally get medicine for whatever illness I have and remember how truly blessed I am. Because I AM...I know I am...and my pity party will be over and normal non-drama queen MIBI will return!!!!!

1 comment:

Emerson Experiment said...: Grrrrrr....its the final stretch, thats why... I'm sure that my hugs are not as good as Lee's but hang in there. Anytime you need to vent, HOLLA!; 10:04 PM

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Once upon a time...

Mibi grew up in Laie and attended Kahuku High and Lee grew up in Haleiwa and Mililani and attended Mililani High. Mibi went to College at BYU-Hawaii and then served a mission in the Utah Ogden Mission before meeting the man of her dreams. After school, Lee jumped into the workforce looking for his career and eventually ended up working for Mibi's family flower shop at Turtle Bay while Mibi was serving her mission...and never thought that this job would lead him to his "Angel". We met in Septmeber of 2001 after I returned home from my mission. I came back to the flower shop to manage things for my Mom and Lee had left to pursue his education. Well a few months later, Lee's education path didn't take the direction he had hoped and instead life lead him back to Turtle Bay. The first thing he did was call Mom to get his job back and of course she said YES. So, I was Lee's boss and there was an instant friendship...it felt as if we had known each other our entire lives. We kept it strictly business for a few weeks and then one night I was gong to make a Wal-Mart run after work and called him to see if he wanted to come along. His phone was busy (the days before call waiting) and I almost gave up...but after a few more tries he picked up and from that night on we were inseperable. I think we told each other our life stories that night and we both knew then that our lives would never be the same! Over the next year, we formed a deep love and respect for each other which kept us connected through a few rough patches and across the ocean as Mibi moved back to Utah. Finally after a year of being best friends, we both realized that there is no one on earth we would rather be with than each other! We were a couple for about two years when Lee proposed to me and we tied the knot at the exact place we first met...the same hotel the flower shop was located when we worked there...TURTLE BAY. And to add to our JOY, we have a beautiful daughter Savannah (Lee's biological and Mibi's spiritual daughter ) who we just ADORE! She is so smart, funny, outgoing, a jabberbox like her Dad and just the cutest thing you have ever seen!!! We also are praying that we can give her a little brother or sister sometime in the next year or two!!! Until then we have a Doberman (Kayla) and a cat (Shadow) that we spoil rotten and of course all of our Nieces and Nephew's. It has been almost 8 years of wedded bliss and although we have had our ups and downs, each experience has made us grow more in love with each other and are still each others best friend!